Well, the weekend is officially coming to close. I hope that everyone had an enjoyable weekend like I did. Saturday, I finally went to the eye doctor and got my eyes checked for some new glasses. And I must say that I am still blind as a bat almost. My eyesight is 20/70.
That's almost bad enough to qualify for bifocals!!! I have certainly learned that I need to keep my prescription up to date. Anybody who knows me personally will tell you that I believe in wearing and using my stuff until it falls apart. You can call it cheap but I call it my way of being green and getting my money's worth. However, somethings like eyeglasses and shoes and cars shouldn't be placed into that category. So, I will be scheduled for yearly eye exams in May for the next couple of years at least.
On a good note, I did get these totally amazing pair of CoverGirl specs. Can't wait for them to come in this upcoming week. I am going to look so chic and fashionable in my new glasses. Not to mention, I'll be able to see. I've been kind of sticking to only going places I know really well because I don't have to strain to read street signs or anything. And I haven't been driving at night. My night vision is awful without my glasses.
So, I'm glad that I will be driving legally again since it states on my license that I shouldn't operate a vehicle without my glasses. Shhh....that will be our little secret. After my visit with the eye doctor, me, Moo and her father journeyed to my local park. He commutes every other weekend to spend time with her. And this just happened to be one of his weekends.
Now, Jay (as I will call him) and I have quite the relationship history. We were together four years before I finally got preggers with our first child together (he has one daughter from a previous relationship) and had been engaged for 3. Yes, long engagement I know. Then at the beginning our our fifth year everything just seemed to fall apart. I'm not exactly sure why.
I think it was the stress of being a new parent all over again, trying to put together the perfect wedding still and change in careers that did us in. Plus, while it might not seem like it, I'm not exactly an open book when it comes to talking with him. I tend to get defensive or shut down completely. What can I say, I learned it from my father. And I'm not a fan of confrontation within my immediate circle.
I have yet to master the art of expressing my feelings and emotions without starting a shouting match in which I end up the only one shouting. Then I fall into a heap of tears on the floor, couch or bed. It's horrible really. However, I'm trying to work on my communication skills with Jay. It's been a year since we split and our relationship has been wonderful except for those few bumps in the road last October.
But now that we have ironed those out, it's been smooth sailing. I love him still dearly and honestly can't see myself being with anybody else. I've tried and failed miserably at it. So, Saturday we talked about how much we still loved each other and how we both let outside things and people and our stubbornness break up our family. We would love to try to work things out again and I honestly I hope that we can.
Jay and I both know what it feels like to grow up without our father being in our lives on a daily basis. And I don't want that for Moo. If the problem with our relationship is fixable then why shouldn't we fix it? Now the hard part is breaking the news to my family. They're not exactly a fan of his anymore. However, I hope they will respect my decision and support me on it.
Today was just as great because I was still on my love high from yesterday with Jay. I had a great time at the House of the Lord aka church. Our pastor is retiring and we're in the transition of getting a new one. Not sure how we are going to like him, but I'll give him a chance. It's always hard being in the United Methodist Church because you have to switch pastors every so often. By the time, you get used to one they're charge is up and they're office to a different parish.
I have to say though that we have been blessed to have had some awesome leaders. They have all come in and loved us like family and kept it real. Our church is in a much better position than I ever remember us being. So, in a way I'm looking forward to meeting the pastor and his family. I hear he's on the younger side, quite tall and has kids.
I take my religion and faith very seriously. So, if this pastor does not come correct, trust I will have no problem going elsewhere. I can't have my daughter raised up in a dead church. Her spiritual growth is very important. These are the crucial years for her and I am responsible for shaping her.
Well, it's off to bed. Tomorrow is another day and I have to get busy job hunting as I will no longer be manning my current post at my current job after the 31st of this month. It's proving to be a tough process, but God will make a way and open up the right doors.